Inspired by this then/now chart at I Love Charts. There are few better ways to look at change in perception over time than through the lens of marriage. Readers, what have we left out?
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One of the most delightful, clever and helpful books about marriage I’ve ever seen.- Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and CommittedThe book is grounded in solid research, makes economics entertaining, and might just save a marriage or two.- Bloomberg NewsA convincing and creative case for how the dismal science can help reconcile marital disputes.- Washington PostThe more you think about it, the more it makes perfect sense.- Sunday TimesPractical, compelling, and often hilarious...The minute I finished the book, I started to experiment on my husband.- Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project
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Results From Our Survey
What we heard from the more than 1,100 people who took our Exhaustive, Groundbreaking and Very Expensive Marriage Survey:- The hardest part about being married: 'Making myself less of a priority'
- #2 reason people don't have sex: "Not in the mood"
- 62% have sex when they're not in the mood so they don't hurt their spouse's feelings
- 48% have sex when they're not in the mood "to earn good will"
- 47% sometimes have sex even when they're not in the mood
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Cute pic. Why did you give credit to the charts site? Yours was totally different.
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it’s funny, & I get the “evolving realism” thing you’re going for here, but honestly this is just depressing to me. if you’re constantly gunning for alone-time, don’t like the same activities, don’t feel compelled to be physically affectionate, & don’t feel compelled to be monogamous…why be married at all?
I’m not trying to be snarky; this is a legitimate question: the perspective presented in this chart is a fairly common one, I think, but it doesn’t depict any marriage I’d want to be in. & not because I’m some starry-eyed teenager.
I hear what you’re saying and, yes, I am mostly trying to make a point. My husband and I are best friends, but alone time and a realistic expectations are definitely key to a happy union. I’m sure the diagram will change again in a few years. Key is to know that marriage is going to change, just like life does, and be ready and open to it, instead of afraid or stuck to a set notion of what your marriage “should be.”
I’m happily married and firmly in the second chart. Not depressing at all, just wry. Much as I adore my kids and husband, some time away from them is also welcome. I don’t need to kiss in public because I can kiss (and more) in our home. Unlike at 16.
I would add: Age 16 – all or nothing, Age 36 – compromise.